He's three weeks old and we're now finally starting to get a routine. The first couple of weeks were challenging as the baby was rapidly losing weight (even though I was feeding him every 2 hours for about an average of 30 min.) and the lack of sleep really got to me. 

The pediatrician wanted me to supplement with formula, I wanted to cry and felt defeated. I mean, this is not my first rodeo; I successfully nursed 2 other children, what on earth am I doing wrong? Also, I forgot how demanding it can be to care for a baby. There were times when I wasn't taking good care of myself and I was starting to get moody and frustrated. 

I swallowed my pride and called a lactation consultant and talked to her about the baby possibly not getting enough milk. She said to make sure I let the baby drink the "hind milk" and not just the foremilk. Also, the baby got thrush and it passed to my chest and, boy, was it tender and painful when nursing. Not even a week into it I just wanted to give up and give the baby formula. 

We had to take the baby back to the pediatrician every day almost for a week because they were monitoring his weight gain. He weighed 6 lb 12 oz and at that point he was down to 6 lb 1.5 oz. I got a breast pump and started bottle-feeding him. I did supplement a few times with some formula when he still acted somewhat hungry after a feeding. In no time he started gaining weight. Last week he was 6 lb. 13 oz. - above his birthweight, finally! And tomorrow is his last weigh-in to see the progress. 

I'm still pumping around the clock, it's still painful - we had a little accident with the Playtex pump, my husband melted it while sterilizing it and had to buy another one. We got a Lansinoh double breast pump and since the nipples were still not healed, the pump kept rubbing them raw. We ordered wider cups so that it doesn't touch the skin but I still haven't gotten them on the mail. It hurts to do it every two to three hours but I love my Riordan and know that breast milk is best for him and as a mom, I am committed to try my hardest and do what's best for him, even if it's not convenient for me. I am working on getting back to just nursing him but won't attempt it until I'm completely healed. 

Also, I discovered that baby really enjoys just suckling, not just eating and that was also part of the problem. I gave in (even though I said that I would never give this baby a pacifier, that I had learned my lesson with the other ones) and got him a soothie pacifier. He loves it! And this baby is really good at just using it only when needed.  Anyway, it cracks me up that I had all these preconceived ideas of what I would and wouldn't do and I'm relearning to take it one day at a time and just go with the flow. At the end of the day it's all about keeping baby healthy and keeping your sanity at the same time.